The healing process
by GokuRarity19
Summary: Toga has had enough, she is alone and wishes to find a path forward, and in seeking help begins to connect to her old obsession.
1. Denial

**[Musutafu, Bacta Mental Hospital]**

Toga was lead into the facility without resistance, having gone in of her own accord, asking to be escorted to a ward and after being frisked for weapons (of which she had none on her, a very strange fact indeed). Eventually going to her assigned room, which was going to be under heavy surveillance both to get an idea of her behavior and for the protection of staff. Considering how mentally unstable Toga was, courts had pre-ruled that if Toga was found she was to be sent to a mental ward, a very different procedure than from most circumstances. Essentially, she had been ruled as an innocent by insanity, which definitely applied; she was really only just sane enough to reason what could become of her and hence why she went voluntarily towards the mental hospital.

Her thought process in the twenty minutes before deciding to go to the hospital had been simple; survival. Everyone in the League of Villains was either dead, in jail or in a mental hospital. Of those dead they included All for One, Muscular, Giantomachia, the "good doctor", Giren and Moonfish.

Spinner was out of jail, actually, released on good behavior. He was never one to go too far off the deep end, he was just a rebel who was mistreated and called a freak. Apparently he was now working on becoming a hero. Kurogiri and Mr. Compress were also apparently to be released within 3 years if they kept up their behavior too.

Dabi was in a hospital in a coma; he had actually tried to save someone else's life and had suffered dearly for it, the person he saved being Shoto Todoroki. Shigaraki was in a nearly the same condition; after finding out how little AFO cared for him, he had almost broken apart and had dusted AFO in the process. The only reason he was alive was because All Might had made sure that his mentor's grandson had been given the best healthcare in the country.

How ironic that it was that the League had not been ended by heroes; the League had destroyed itself. Spinner left first, turning himself over to the police hoping for leniency. Then, after a failed breakout in Tartarus, Compress had also thrown in the towel, but not before killing the "good doctor" over what exactly he had done to even create the Nomu.

On a second Tartarus breakout, AFO had been successfully reclaimed and Izuku Midoriya and a few other 1A students (who were at that point now 3rd years) had tried and failed to take him down. However, the students had been successful in making AFO reveal reveal the fateful information that would cause Shigaraki's quirk to go into overdrive killing AFO in an unexpected betrayal, expressing his surprise in his final moment. Around the same time Dabi's fight had happened, and he had been very close to dying.

The only people left at that point were twice and herself. And of the Nomus, only one of the so called "failed experiment" survived that being a female Nomu who had some sort of sense of self and justice. Now she was with her birth parents; after being captured by the good doctor ten years earlier and harshly experimented on, her brain state was like that of a ten year old, and often was found crying before the heroes were able to find her home. As far as everyone knew, she was happy now.

One day, three years earlier, Twice had battled with himself, over whether he should seek professional help, deciding in the end to leave and better himself and saying goodbye. Alone, Toga had tried to survive for the next 3 years on scraps, and love did not come as quickly to her as it once had; Izuku was always of some interest as well as his froggy friend and Uraraka, but she had no blood and one dull knife left; this was even worse than the time before meeting the good doctor!

"I give up" she uttered placing her blade down and heading towards the nearest mental hospital, which is where we start our story from. Her body was dull and starved, not having eaten anything of sustenance for a year, after her attempts at getting food were halted by her increasingly poor health.

News broke the next day that the last member of the League had finally been found, having willingly turned herself into a mental hospital, the same one where Rei Todoroki had been interned a few years prior. Many pros who used to be in class 1A reacted to the news with varying degrees of leniency; from Bakugou thinking she should be in jail and Uraraka having to calm him down, to Tsuyu believing that the actions Toga had taken were the best anyone could have hoped for.

Izuku Midoriya, meanwhile felt the most distraught; she was just another person in need in his eyes and therefore he would try and tie up this emotional loose ends as best he could by helping Toga's transitioning back into society, he would have to check her visiting hours.

Inside the hospital, Toga was being consulted by a special doctor who was licensed to use their quirk in their practice, essentially they could touch you and know exactly what was wrong with you and what to prescribe. Her course of drugs would be 3 different pill sets meant to stave off psychotic tendencies and anxiety.

It would take about 3 weeks for the pills to start being effective, much like how steroids for arthritis would also take a while to kick in fully. And as such, visits were to be held for very short amounts of time under careful surveillance; however, she was free to wander the facility so long as she was accompanied by one member of staff at all times.

"Toga?" a man's voice had said on her 3rd day at the hospital, when she wanted to walk around. She was denying the fact that she could be changed and so wanted to get to know where she presumed she would be living for the rest of her life until the day she died. When she turned to look at the man who had uttered the word she was surprised to see Twice walking around the halls of the facility unaccompanied, without his suit on no less, and smiling happily! "Sir! Do you mind if I hug her? We know each other!" He had asked to her accompanying member of staff, who simply smiled and said it was fine, so long as Toga gave permission, to which she of course did, this was the first time seeing one of her old friends in years and no less one who seems to have turned their life around.

"OHHH, I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH TOGA" Twice laughed out loud after that and lifted toga up into the air and spinning her around before putting her down and apologizing for how over the top he acted. "And look! No double speak! Well, hear more then look but you know..." he laughed again, apparently they had helped him deal with his not-really-split personality, as both sides of himself were present at most of the time more like double personality where two people were operating the same body simultaneously.

"You know I never expected to walk around like normal anymore, ya'know...considering how fucked up I was in the past? Hah, oh man, that was a riot. I'm glad you came here, it means you can finally be truly happy, sanity has a way of making you appreciate life more...ya'know and i hope to put it to good use on the outside."

"Like there would ever be any hope for me...urgh, I've lost all will to love and care anymore, only reason I'm here is cuz everyone else is dead or put away, and I'd be dead too if I had spent like one more week out there...if I change into a better person due to these drugs and professional help...YEAH that would be just great, but that ain't happening! I've been itching to stab something since the second I got in here INCLUDING MYSELF!" the person accompanying Toga was looking to Twice to see if he should go get any other members of staff, Twice was one of their most trusted patients and had truly undergone a remarkable transformation as a human being.

From Twice's actions, it was clear he felt he could handle it and started to hug Toga, who was starting to cry out of frustration "Shhh, now don't talk like that, look at me like seriously look at me, if there is one thing i know from my time here is that there is no such thing as a lost cause. I was in the exact same position when i started here, i mean the only reason I came here was because I debated the merits of sanity and got into a fist fight with myself, gave myself a black eye and a cracked rib from that fight, me really knew to piss me off right!"

Toga laughed ever so slightly through the tears "Heh yeah, you were your own worst enemy in a far more literal sense." she retorted and sniffled slightly.

"See, there is always a glimmer of hope so don't go around moping on me, if ya need anyone, anyone at all just ask for me, I still got a few issues I need to work out, a couple violent tendencies that we have been working on with some good ol fashioned anger management, that kinda thing."

"Yeah" she smiled "I guess I can always count on you"

"You got it" Twice retorted with some finger guns before spinning on his heels and singing I feel pretty for some reason Toga couldn't fathom.

Toga wouldn't be allowed visitors until her medication set in fully, it helped her deal with some aspects of her self, like how she didn't feel the need to drink a bitch dry now, that was nice, she hadn't felt that way since, well ever and the need to stab when angry was greatly reduced although she kinda felt board after realising that her main things in life were stabbing drinking blood and falling in love, Toga could see how that could be perceived as fucked up now she guessed but didn't really care as much as she hoped she would care, seemingly trying to confirm to herself that she was a bad person even though twice often tried to make arguments too the contrary.

On the first day where visitors were allowed, she received a very special guest in the form of her beloved Izuku! Although she was feeling less "stabby-lovey", she still felt the need to want to be him, which she wholeheartedly admitted to Izuku the second she saw him before smacking herself and trying to tell herself not to think that way, apparently trying to live up to Twice's ideal version of herself. "Sorry about that, I have a long way to go Izuku..." she said blushing a deep red while Izuku himself was trying to remain composed in front of the less-crazy-than-usual Toga, who was still in love with him it seemed.

"It is good to see that you want to make progress, I didn't even know Twice was in this facility, guess you learn something new everyday," he smiled "I hope to be able to assist him when he gets out, from what you tell me he seemed very composed now! It is definitely true that doctors are sometimes the unsung heroes in this world, Recovery Girl being a doctor is rarely discussed and she is moreso know for having been a support hero than an accredited doctor...it really makes you wonder if we as heros should bring attention to the incredible work these people do... mumble mumble mumble mumble" Izuku was lost in thought, an aspect that Toga found cute and let him continue before he finally catched himself and apologized profusely "I...I-I...I-I...I'M-M S S SORRY THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ME TALKING TO YOU n-n-not talking in front of you" he squirmed and fidgeted with his fingers looking slightly ashamed of himself.

"Oh it is no problem Izuku, I find it so cute," she almost purred like a cat at that and caused Izuku to gulp, he was not good with affection, in fact it caused him to just become an absolute wreck in casual situations.

This kind of talk continued unabated for a few minutes before Toga's limited allotted time was done for the day causing her to become somewhat angry, but, not wanting to lash out in front of her sweet Izuku, she instead counted to ten, something her first few weeks of anger management had drilled heavily into her skull. The first step with anger was always allowing time to breath, the second was finding the source, but they hadn't gotten to that part yet; the reason they focused so heavily on something so simple in the first few weeks was due to people needing to make a habit out of it; habits once started are hard to break and so allowed for this to become an integral part of calming people down, alongside other means like calming music and a good book, but she didn't have that on hand right now.

Back in her room was a small lunch, as requested, the the hospital staff would prepare and deliver to those who wished to be alone in their lunch break or simply wished to not enter the on-site lunch hall with others and instead converse with those in the rooms nearby. Her lunch meal was just a nice peanut butter and strawberry sandwich, as well as a protein bar and some milk, along with her medication and dietary supplement pills that she needed, considering how malnourished she was when she entered the facility.

Toga had to admit that, for a place where loony people had to go to, she found it surprisingly nice to live in and welcoming, treating its patients with respect and fulfilling small requests for books, non-bladed items etc. The government must really be investing in mental health, she guessed, (in actuality Endeavor made sure that the place was well funded after his wife's release and becoming the number one hero, a lifetime of regret symbolised by a place of healing, rather fitting).

For entertainment Toga had requested newspapers, fashion magazines and the entire works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the last one was mainly because "I've always wanted to know why people give a shit about these books." Her room was small but not terrible, it was padded but only because Toga had requested it so as to be able to sleep anywhere and she could leave any time before 8PM and could press a button for assistance if she needed to pee or something after 8PM as the room did not have an onsite bathroom.

Her routine was simple, but changing as she developed through her issues. For example, on the days before any visits were allowed, her routine was wake up at 8 am, mill about for an hour, go get food and greet the other patients, some seemingly more crazy than her, although less violent than she expected and far more reliant on art and expression; Twice had taken up shadow puppetry and musical theater to heart for example. For the next 2 hours she would discuss topics like the joking "WHATTA YOU IN FOR?" and how they were making progress,at 11 she was to go to her anger management teacher, apparently Kamui Woods would sometimes work there to teach yoga as a calming practice, although most of the time it was just a one on one session with a somewhat zany anger management coach; "I feel pretty" was a song which he encouraged people to sing to alleviate anger. Twice, however, did it just for fun. At 12 was lunch, where she would go back to her room and eat and read for a few hours, for the last 5 hours of the day it was 2 hours exercise, 2 hours of dinner and chat and 1 hour of personal hygiene.

After visits were allowed, her 2 hours of dinner were instead 1 and a half, and half an hour of visits. She had everything she would need to improve herself, everything was meant to help her and the others in the facility become the best version of themselves and, as time progressed, she herself could see that she was becoming less insane, however slow that process was occuring, mental health wasn't a snap cure; she would likely be here for years. Izuku promised he would always visit and Twice assured that if he were to get out, he too would visit when he could and see if he could get Spinner to visit.

She couldn't deny it any longer, she was going to change for the better, no matter how long it took.


	2. Anger

It had been roughly a year, (approaching a year and a half) at the mental health facility, and there had been some changes: they had changed caterers, so food tasted ever so slightly better; Kamui Woods came in more often, due to the lack of crime and the extra heroes now in the field; according to Izuku, Eri, Kota and Satsuki were friends at UA in the hero course, Spinner had progressed into getting a provisional hero license, Dabi had briefly awoken from his coma recently, uttered an apology directed to the Todoroki family and then gone back under, apparently out of pure will...hopefully he would be able to wake up more.

Shigaraki however...well, he was partially deteriorating. His left arm had to be removed after he began turning to dust; doing so seemed to stabilize him and improve his condition. Doctors and those who knew his quirk most theorised that Shigaraki was dusting himself on purpose, a suicide attempt out of feeling his life was ruined beyond repair, where no one ever truly cared for him, or if they had, in the distant past, they had been murdered..

The only other piece of news relating to the villains that was interesting to Toga was that the Nomu girl was still safe and happy. Toga recognised that merely a few years ago she would have been uncaring about the girl at all. Other people visited on the behalf of Izuku: Tsuyu, Uraraka, All Might, even Bakugou, who had mellowed out a small amount. Toga was also visited by a hero couple known as Gentle and La Brava, who Izuku asked to speak with her, to show her that a transition from villany to heroism was possible. While talking to them, Toga mentioned that, if Compress and Kurogiri ever became heroes, the four of them would all get on well, gentlemanly showmanship and all.

Today, however, was a very bad day; apparently Toga had a rotting tooth that had gone unnoticed, add on to that the fact that she was being put on a new course of medication and thus she was starting to get a little unstable, which she was afraid of. The in-built regular hospital was used in these cases, and they had dentistry equipment too, so that no one would have to be transferred out of the building if they weren't seen as safe to move or just felt more comfortable around the staff at the mental hospital.

Thus Toga found herself in the process of having her rotting molar and premolar removed. She was extremely stressed; she had never had anyone poking around in her mouth and was scared, even angered about the invasion of her body, and when they started removing the teeth outright she felt a pain unlike anything else she could imagine… and yet still she persisted, trying to calm herself until she started seeing red in a far more literal sense then she would have liked.

She had then stabbed the dentist in his chest, with his own tools no less. Her stab was clumsy, unaimed, full of anger, and it missed anything vital on the poor dentist, the man was a tough fucker. And to make matters worse, the dentist was still trying to calm her down! When she saw what she had done, Toga threw the tools away and ran into the corner of the room to cower, afraid of her own hands, what they did and they could have done out of her sheer amount of anger she felt.

Apparently it wasn't until two hours later that they could calm her down. She had expected to be tackled when she fled into the corner to cry but instead the hospital staff seemed to be extremely sympathetic...had this happened before? She didn't know, but they were saints protecting a sinner.

The dentist was of course taken away for medical treatment, while staff discussed what to do; eventually it was decided they would try and calm Toga down and then see that she was safely escorted back to her room, but only after they finished removing her teeth; she still needed that corrected and they had other dentists on hand. The substitute dentist asked if they could knock Toga out to her directly, as they needed to make sure she could feel safe; Toga eventually nodded and was put under to have her rotting teeth removed.

The next day her teeth didn't hurt, but her heart did, metaphorically speaking. The stabbing of the dentist had made her mind wracked with guilt, not over just that incident, but her previous ones too; she had killed so many, a few had deserved it, most hadn't, some had been out of a perceived love...and yet she still felt those emotions. She felt love when all she did was destroy and move on. Izuku was the person who she had met and felt this perverted love for that had lived longest, Tsuyu and Uraraka being close behind...but that love had faded, perhaps only because she had been either preoccupied or because in the end, he was really powerful, and she had a rather low chance of defeating him, even with all the blood in the world. And how could she _become him _if she couldn't beat him?

Then came the visit. A member of staff would arrive in her room, and ask to sit down and chat, Toga still bawling her eyes out and snot dripping from her nose. He was kind, very kind, and waited patiently, bringing along tissues to blow her nose and dry her eyes with. And trying to calm her down as best he could. Eventually, when he believed she had calmed down enough to communicate he began what he came to do.

"We know that you feel bad about this, you have made remarkable progress in the past year and a half, and we know that you can still improve. However, we feel it apt to help you with anger most of all at this point. Once it is under control, you can rest at ease with yourself, knowing you won't hurt anyone by mistake again. As such, the higher ups have asked that you have your schedule rearranged to both emphasize communication with a therapist as well as your anger management counselor. Your visiting hours have not been restricted however. We know how much this has helped and to take them away would likely cause a relapse. Are you ok with this?"

Toga nodded sadly, eventually asking the staff member for something, even if she felt she did not deserve such a favor. "C-can I have a toy to cuddle, I-I… I haven't been able to sleep, I... I know it sounds childish but I don't know anything else that could help"

"Sure, patients have gotten things like that before. Your friend Twice asked for non bladed measuring tape, implying he bladed his measuring tapes before coming here which was certainly… unsettling. Don't worry, we will see what we can do"

It went far better than she had expected; she felt as though she was going to be placed in jail and left to rot after her actions, but the people at this hospital seemed genuine in believing in people. One large point, that was not so great, was that Toga had essentially developed a fear of sharp objects, not out of fear for herself but out of fear for the sake of others, she couldn't eat with knives and forks now, even the plastic ones. Twice had tried and failed to get Toga to open up a little more about the incident so as to help, but it had been Izuku who had been able to figure out an idea as to what had happened, mainly due to Toga seeming upset and him coaxing little details out of her that added up; grief and guilt was on her face 24/7.

"You know you can't keep locking up and placing blame on yourself, the old you is already dead and in the ground. I should know a little about self blame: I failed Mirio years ago, but not everything was under my control; I was one of the reasons why a villain destroyed a block and kidnapped Kacchan. I've messed up, but I have improved to become a person the world can rely on, and you have come even further, and once you are better, and truly happy I would like for you to be a friend I can rely on!" Izuku smiled, just like All Might, and Nana Shimura before him. A winning smile could inspire hope in the people after all.

"I mean, I guess, but if that were true...why did I hurt him to begin with? I , I just feel like my hands are forever going to be soaked, not even an ocean could clean my hands of the blood I've spilled, and yet you, you would have faith in me to change? Someone...someone who I don't really even know?" Toga rubbed her eyes a little.

"Oh I have faith in everyone to be able to change for the better if given the correct circumstances! The age of heroes really inspires optimism, someone is always there to save you, to help! Even if it takes years, I will be ready to help you transition into society, it's what any hero would do. W-well I guess not any hero would, but it is what any hero _should_ do" Izuku went on, his hope and warmth reaching through the glass barrier and touching Toga to her core. "A-a-and if you want to get to know each other I'm more than willing to, how about we properly introduce ourselves? Hi I'm Izuku Midoriya! Otherwise known as Deku, and I want to be a hero that everyone can rely on. Now it's your turn!" Izuku beamed, his infectious warmth bringing a smile to Toga's face.

"Hi" she started somewhat sarcastically earning a small snicker from Izuku that she smirked at before continuing "I'm Himiko Toga, ex League of Villains member and recovering mental patient. I like handholding and long weeks on the beach" she jokingly added at the end, it was like they were setting up a dating profile but in real life. "I… I don't know what I want..." she started pouting again "...after the League all I wanted was to survive and when that almost failed, I came here, but I don't know what I want. Love...I guess, but I don't deserve that right now, do I? I guess...I guess what I want is to become the best version of myself. Although the best version of a mass murderer, that's kinda, not very high." She was beating herself up again, and it wasn't like Izuku could blame her, she alone had to reconcile her past with her present and where it might lead her in the future. While others could help, it was up to her to move forward.

"Look, not everything is going to go by instantly; progress is always slow when it comes to matters of oneself. I know that a little too well; I kept feeling like I was not worthy of being a hero, of being an imposter, feeling like I didn't belong. It took a while, but now I'm a pro saving people one action at a time and it feels amazing to know I've made the world a better place. Anyway, I think our time's over for today. I'm glad I was able to get you too open up! Please don't lock yourself away like that again, being open is always for the best both for yourself and others." Izuku seemed to have some experience in this. Toga was seeing why she fell in love with the hero, he was always doing everything he could for others, even if it cost him personally, she could see that just from his arms, gnarled, somewhat ugly due to the heavy scarring.

And so Toga was whisked off. Her anger guru, as she called them, was the one to encourage a system, which first of all started with a good structure to the day to ease stress; of course just avoiding stress alone would be stupid, as there are many things in life you couldn't account for, and that is where they came into the picture; her main focus was not exactly on not getting angry, but rather how to use anger effectively and in a non destructive practice.

That was why they even had a theater on site, as well as painting and shadow puppetry and other creative fields that the patients were allowed to work on; expression formed from emotion, anger included, usually helped deal with those emotions or at the very least could help visualise a problem. Twice's shadow puppetry for instance showed his anger at indecision; due to his double speak he had never had to focus on a single decision as much and as such his shadow puppetry was cluttered and always changing because he didn't know what to exactly practice on or what to focus on.

Toga had shown a fear of rejection as well as intimacy, which bubbled up into anger; she very much enjoyed her personal space and didn't like people getting close without her consent. The fear of intimacy was a newer one she recognised, it was a secondary fear over the fact that she realised she herself was dangerous, feared for the safety of others and those she "loved" and her recent bout had somehow proved it, in her mind at least, so she was not likely to be comfortable around others for a while.

The next few weeks were spent trying to readjust back into a schedule, every now and again Toga would ask for the status on the dentist, who was recovering well, even wished her well himself. The teddy bear she had received was actually a DEKU brand fluffy hug-a-bear, these were commonly given to sick children in hospital by Izuku in person; Izuku knew that even a small amount of happiness can sometimes make someone's entire world, so he always took small actions to help; he regularly went to Dagobah Beach to clean up the trash that sometimes still washed up there, even set up a group effort of water based heroes to help clean up the ocean, Froppy and Selkie were some of the best assistants he could have asked for in that case, he was one of the people funding Shigaraki's care, and was working with Endeavor to give funding to the mental hospital Toga was staying at.

Izuku seemed to be spreading himself far too thin but he somehow managed, and looked toward the next day with a smile, always. Perhaps he just had a lot of good help. The hero community was as extremely vibrant lately, more and more people were becoming heroes, and the symbol of peace wasn't the number one hero anymore, but a collective, mainly from UA, Ketsubutsu, Shiketsu and others. According to the hero rankings Izuku was the number 5 hero right now, he certainly got there quick, Bakugou was actually the number 3 hero, and Todoroki 7th, Mt. Lady was actually 2nd at this point, having never given up at being popular, to bring attention to quirks needing special schooling like her.

Society was finally healed from the wound AFO had inflicted and times were good. Hopefully that was to last, and, considering the people who were working on that front, Toga believed it would.

Life we on, anger passed, and the world was peaceful; Toga merely hoped her future looked as bright as the world did.


	3. Bargaining

Another year passed before Toga was allowed outside for a small time with Izuku, and even then it could only be Izuku, as he was essentially a coping mechanism that Toga used to remain stable. In that time there had been a few somewhat notable incidents in the hero world; Spinner was now a fully licensed hero working together with Lizardy, also known as Setsuna Tokage from Class B in Izuku's year; they had explained that it was effective because they were both lizard-like, so it made sense in their eyes for brand consolidation.

Mirko was still kicking, even after more than a decade of getting into fights all on her own and not caring if she died, but her solo act was not forever, and she teamed up with Tsuyu for a time, unofficially, of course; Mirko got to where she was on her own and didn't want help no matter what. Her reason was to further teach Tsuyu, because formal education could only do so much for the girl, and they had similar Quirks. Of course, the press tried spinning their partnership controversially, so Mirko just told the to fuck off.

Iida had taken control of the Team Idaten hero agency having finally feeling worthy of his brother's legacy, and in doing in the same announcement, he also told his friends that he was dating Camie Utsushimi, a Shiketsu school girl they were all familiar with...and it was unexpected.

Gentle and La Brava were becoming the most talked about hero couple outside of Kacchan and Uravity; since Bakugou had not formally chosen a Hero Name, people could refer to him as they pleased, with Bomb Voyage some days as a joke, with others Ground Zero or Blast Zone, and even at times "Kacchan", to match with Izuku's "Deku".

(Bakugou never actually gave himself a hero name so people just label him whatever they want, someday he was referred to as Kachan due to Deku calling him that, other days Bomb Voyage as a joke, other times Ground Zero or Blast Zone whatever the press wanted on the day of publication really). They were popular, as could be seen in the latest billboard,, with Deku as 1st, Mirko as 2nd, Kachan 3rd, Kamui Woods 4th, Froppy as 7th, FreezerBurn as 8th, Uravity as 9th and Mt Lady as 10th, after finally outing Endeavor from the top ten mainly due to the fact that Endeavor was starting to retire after his son got his foot in the top 10.

Dabi was awake now but still bedridden, apparently having been heard crying into his bedsheets, staining them red due to the nature of his skin and tear ducts, and even then Dabi was only waking for a few hours a day even with all the medication. As such, he was kept in the hospital and allowed to have visitors, and also get some amount of physical therapy. He was slowly progressing at least.

Shigaraki was still dying. It was very slow, and he was being rewound as much as possible by Eri, every time she could visit. It gave Izuku and All Might more time to convince the young man to strive to live instead of killing himself. Nejire was hoping that they could find a quirk that transferred vitality, to try and siphon some of her own incredible amount of vitality into the villain to get him to wake up; it would be a longshot of course, but it would be better than nothing.

Kurogiri and Mr Compress were released as well, especially with Aizawa vouching on behalf of Kurogiri that he was a changed person, which could be seen from the fact that his portals, which had resembled dark flames for so long, had receded quite a bit to show a face which Aizawa claimed belonged to his best friend. "What a twist", had been the first thought on Toga's mind.

Both had served their time very well; no usage of their Quirks, no getting into fights unless it was to save another person, which thankfully had only happened once, no illegal contraband. And, interestingly, they had worked quite well together as part of the cafeteria staff for the prison, which hosted a job training program in hopes of rehabilitating people back into society. Although Kurogiri did say he would have prefered a way into heroism, he felt it wasn't in the cards for him at this point.

Twice was going to be leaving permanently soon; he had been declared to be in a good enough mental state to only need to come back in every so often to pick up his medication as well as to have semi-regular check ups, both physical and mental, to make sure he wasn't relapsing or if the drugs started to have side effects after continued use, although they expected were not expected to do so.

Twice was happy to hug Toga on his way out and comfort her when she started crying due to losing her best friend, both from her time in prison and their time with the League. She knew that it was stupid to feel that way, because it wasn't like he was dead, but… he was still leaving her. She hated that she felt like she should always be near her friend; she was still possessive of people she cared about.

Although her therapist said this was a more natural response than drinking people dry and becoming them… so that was 100% a plus, especially as she had finally kicked that urge, all she wanted now was to drink blood on occasion, because she liked using her Quirk...which was definitely a more productive use of her Quirk than as a mass murderer, she kept bringing that point up to drag herself down, guilt tripping herself even after the words of encouragement from others on her progress.

She was going to be with Izuku today for 4 hours at his place; he had stated he wanted to try and work together on something although he had left it a surprise exactly what they were doing.

Just that it was going to be at his house, well apartment; he still hadn't moved out of his mother's apartment, because he felt he didn't need to spend money on his accommodation and as such donated it to charities he knew he could trust while also pushing forward advocacy groups to pressure systematic change to stop circumstances that created the kind of villains he had dealt with in the past.

It was a very slow process, one not helped by the fact that, as the number one hero, he was still branded as the pillar of hope/Symbol of peace, etc., etc., even when he made it clear that hoisting society's peace upon one person was not the best idea especially after All Might, but some people were just stuck in their ways it seemed.

When Toga arrived it turned out all they were doing was making two salads; one vegetable salad and one fruit salad, as a light nutrient dinner and dessert course respectively, with the fruit salad being something of a snack for Izuku considering the amount of calories a hero burned off in the line of duty. Izuku had chosen this as a way to show Toga that she was safe around knives, that she could control herself and that she was not a monster.

He hoped that a year of time with professionals had reopened her up to being close to sharp objects while making her more aware of herself and her progress. It had worked slightly; she was open to using plastic cutlery in the cafeteria as she was sure she couldn't hurt someone with that, but was still cautious around any other sharp objects.

Izuku started by saying that all she would have to do was watch very closely as he cut the carrots and celery, and peeled the apples and that would be it. Of course, this was put on hold when he started trying to use his hands properly. He couldn't hold onto the knife and seemed to be wobbling quite heavily before he dropped the knife on the floor and had to scoop it up with both hands to deposit it in the sink.

"I-Izuku what happened?" Toga shouted after the knife dropped (thankfully it was a relatively blunt knife so neither was in danger of losing a toe if it was dropped on their shoe covered feet).

"Would you believe early onset arthritis?" The young man responded sincerely, with a face that dropped down and started to frown quite heavily before continuing, "The use of my Quirk early on left permanent tissue scars as you can obviously see." It was true; his arms had multiple scars from what were his own self inflicted injuries. "Then there was the fact that even after all my training with Full Cowl I was basically pushing my body to the very edge and still sometimes used punches above my maximum."

He remembered Muscular specifically on that one. "Then as a pro hero I still have to constantly hit things with a Quirk I still don't have true 100% control of. Over the years the deeper damage, the bone fractures and breaks, the hairline cracks and fissures, the nerve damage, the muscle damage...everything. It all built up to this, I can't hold things well any more, I can't write without special pens, I need a special mouse for my personal computer." Izuku looked down then looked at a shocked Toga, Before returning to get another knife with a thicker handle for an easier grip for Izuku.

"Then stop- no no, I should know by now, you could never stop being a hero even at the cost of using your hands, but… what's going to happen to you?" Toga looked upset.

"No idea, but I'm still going to make this food, or… how about this? You don't want to touch a knife, and I can't grip them well...perhaps, you can help guide my hands to make these salads? What do you say, we have a deal?" Izuku asked pepping up and smiling at Toga, the same smile he gave to all the people he had saved...

"Is he trying to save me?" was but one of the ideas Toga had go through her mind, the stuffed bears he gave too young children, given with a smile like this, when he saved civilians from attack sand disasters, this smile, when he was vouching for a cause he believed would help society, this exact type of smile was what appeared, a smile of caring, he cared for her. The least she could do was try for him.

"D-deal… just please, can we take it slow? I don't want you cutting yourself, I can't bear seeing you hurt more after knowing this." Toga said, grasping Izuku's hands and slowly guiding him through the cutting and peeling process and feeling his hands slightly quivering while going through the task. Toga and Izuku were effectively hugging, with her hands on top of his guiding the blade slowly and speeding up ever so slightly when they both felt comfortable.

Toga realised she was snuggling Izuku and he snuggled her back, eventually and after finishing they just kept on snuggling for a little while afterwards, even if it was a little unprofessional. Toga was always one for ignoring boundaries of others and getting physical with people who she cared about, it's just she couldn't let others in, not without eventually leading to their deaths at her hand.

Actually, aside from Twice but he was different; she never held any attraction towards him, even as a villain he seemed genuine with their relationship, perhaps this was also another thing Izuku was doing, letting her in, showing her that something like this could happen and she could open up too.

Toga eventually let go looking at Izuku's hands as they lit up with a fraction of OFA power, and Izuku moved his hands more normally, but not entirely so, to place the ingredients into each bowl, tossing both salads and drizzling some light oil over the vegetable salad and seasoning with some pepper, then turning to serve them both, before sitting down and explaining just what he did:

"I want to be honest with you Toga, what I did just then was entirely done to help you overcome yourself. Yes I actually do have arthritis, and I use very small amounts of OFA to counter it like a steroid… it only goes so far but it certainly helps. If you hate me because it feels like I used you you're perfectly free to ask to never see me again… I just wanted to help and… I thought we had a good time together."

He had forced her to confront a fear of hers in a safe, almost loving atmosphere, to help alleviate her fears… and he was apologizing for that… he truly was one of the most kind hearted people on the planet, and even tried to make amends by offering what ever made her feel better if she were at all slighted… She started to tear up and hugged Izuku harder, tears freely falling out of appreciation, making sure to avoid putting too much weight upon the technically crippled hero.

"It's been nice, being with you today, And I'm upset I have to go back inside the hospital and not be with you… but I also realise that those thoughts are not healthy. To think just 3 years ago I would be gutting you like a fish and drinking you dry, now… I just want to be with you but can realise that my mental health is likely still impacting that, I'm still unwell, I'm still having violent thoughts, I still think too much about just you, I have a dependency issue… but I'm getting better hopefully" Toga lamented slightly before getting more bright at the end trying to capture the smile that Izuku head shown her.

Back At the hospital she had been tossing in bed with her stuffed Deku bear… she loved that thing even if it was childish, her day with Izuku had been eye opening, about what he is going through and her own doubts about herself, she would have to try and work more with semi-sharp object to really get over her fear of hurting others, of seeing herself as a utter monster. Perhaps when she got out she could work on trying to make amends for the past her, all because of Izuku believing in her.

She couldn't have asked for a better person to be with today.


End file.
